Of Mice and Mayhem
Epilogue
(Where many things are discussed, and some even resolved…)
Alryssa looked sideways at Imran, now drinking a chocolate milkshake. “How can you drink that?!”
“I need something to get the taste out of my mouth…” Imran replied huffily.
“Try bleach…” Alryssa muttered.
Imran grimaced. “Didn’t do much for Allie’s stomach, either. She may be able to turn into a cat, but it doesn’t mean she has the stomach of one… Still can’t get the taste of mouse out of my mouth…”
“How… Just how did you and Allie do that merging trick?”
Imran shrugged. “Last resort. We do share a connection as author and Muse, after all. It was… amplifying it to the point of fusion… that was the problem…”
Alryssa raised an eyebrow. “Whoo. You took a risk that Brain would be afraid of cats…”
“You might say that… There’s also something to be said for never actually saying what a Muse can do…”
Alryssa looked over at her Muse. “Don’t I wish… Yours gets hangovers, mine takes hallucinogenics… You should see what she comes up with… Mm. Speaking of unwelcome visitors, what happened to Lawrence and Q? Lost track of them in the confusion.”
Imran shrugged. “No idea.”
“And the Doctor’s Author Avatar Incapacitator?”
“No idea. Lost that, too.”
“Brilliant…”
In the darkness…
…there was a flash of light.
Don Orman looked up. “Hello, Q.”
Q bowed. “Greetings, Mistress Orman. A pleasure to return…” His tone of voice indicated exactly the opposite.
“Don’t get cute, Q. Our agreement only went so far…”
Q smirked. “As I well recall… So, what did you do with Mad Larry?”
The Don sighed. “He’s under our protection. Somewhere safe. He may be insane, but he has proven… necessary… in the past.”
“Which is why you couldn’t be seen to reclaim him. And he was no longer a member of the Family… so you needed someone to play the role of agent provocateur, to stop him, and reclaim him.” Q’s smile went nowhere near his eyes. “In other words… moi.”
“Not just that…” the Don countered. She looked up. “We had been… aware… of Fiction Paradocs for some time. Of the… danger… they posed. We needed to bring them into the open, and render them powerless…”
“Which the Doctor and Fitz did for you. Quite nicely, as it turns out…” Q sat on the desk. “What of the Editor’s Pen?”
“Somewhere safe.”
“And the Editor?”
“Still watching over the Families…”
“Ah. Well, then…” Q fiddled with something in his hand.
Don Orman looked up. “What will you do with that, now?”
Q tossed the AAI up into the air and caught it. “Return it to the point where Brain – not Gordon – finds it. From there… it will find a home in a certain feline’s stomach.” He smiled. “And then… you make good on your side of the agreement…”
Imran leaned back on his stool. “How about our fellow authors?”
*SLAP*
Alryssa grinned. “Gordon’s having a quiet drink with Benny in the wine cellar. Benny asked specially. Not going very successfully as far as I can tell, either… Gordon’s a little concussed… Cameron? Well, we managed to find him some clothes – from Compassion – and he’s talking to Izzy at the moment…”
“She won’t be interested.” Imran said absently.
“How do you know?” Alryssa asked curiously.
Imran looked around, then leaned forward and whispered in Alryssa’s ear.
Alryssa blushed. “So that’s what the Doctor meant by the ‘Romana pics’…”
Imran nodded. “Speaking of which… what are you planning to do to the Doctors?”
Alryssa smirked. “Oh, let’s just say I’ve got something very special in mind for them…”
Pinky looked down at the script in his paw. “Are you sure about this, Brain? Nibbling the Doctors’ clothes to shreds…”
“Unfortunately, Pinky… yes. Otherwise Alryssa introduces us to Wolsey…” the giant version of Brain said grumpily.
“And then… ‘pick up 200 gallons of chocolate sauce’? Brain?”
“Yes, Pinky. Now get nibbling…”
Something was on Brain’s mind. “Pinky? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“I think so, Brain, but where is she going to get that much velvet rope?”
Brain winced. “Actually, Pinky… that was exactly what I was thinking…”
“Shub-Barneyrath?”
“Back on TV.”
“That’s not what I meant. I meant… what woke him up in the first place?”
Alryssa looked worried. “I don’t know. That… scares… me. And that means… he could do it again…”
“Me, too…” Imran looked down into his drink. “Things. Why does it have to be nameless Things?”
“Something I was wondering…” Alryssa began. “How did Loz do that Thing in the Corner schtick?”
Imran ahemmed. “Well, since I’ve seen your alter-ego…” He concentrated.
And disappeared.
Alryssa looked around. “Imran?”
-Still here- Imran’s voice came from around her. -Little trick the authors can pull off. Tweaking the avatar any way they want… as long as they’re not affected by an Incapacitator-
“Nice…” Alryssa’s eyebrows raised.
“Ow. That really smarts…” Imran popped back into existence. “Something I was wondering. Why didn’t you use Compassion’s chameleon circuit to turn back into yourself?”
Alryssa blushed. “Couldn’t find it… Managed to turn on the light and heat, but… umm…”
“Yeah. Know how that works…”
They were interrupted by Francois, carrying a late 21st century mirror as part of the ’Round’s refurbishments.
Alryssa used the opportunity to quickly change the subject. “What happened to the Mask?”
Imran frowned. “Back in the toybox… I think.”
“What is that toybox, anyway?”
Imran shrugged. “Got me…”
Alryssa frowned. “Somehow, I thought we’d be able to clear everything up afterwards…”
“Way it goes, sometimes…” Imran stared into his drink. “Sometimes, you just can’t clear everything up… Oh yeah. Speaking of clearing up… I noticed Allie talking to you earlier…”
Alryssa smirked. “Yeah?”
“Don’t tell me. I do not wanna know… Yes, I do. Tell me, by Io’s volcanoes. Please.” Imran blinked. “Hold on… I don’t talk like that…”
Alryssa grinned. “Little of my authorial licence…”
“Thanks a lot. So?”
Alryssa’s grin grew even wider, if that were possible. “Well… Remember ‘Sailor Gallifrey’?”
“How could I forget…” Imran murmured. Then a sudden, horrifying idea hit him. “Oh no…”
“Well, after things calmed down,” Alryssa continued, “she wanted to know where she could get an outfit like that…”
“Hiya.”
Imran turned round, saw the green and yellow ensemble Allie was wearing, and the hairstyle, said “Uuuunnnnggghhh…”, and fainted.
“…so I lent her my spare costume,” Alryssa finished.
She and Allie looked down at Imran’s prone body. “Woo. That was fast…” Alryssa mused.
Allie grinned. “Pretty normal for him, I’d say… So, about meeting your Muse…”
Alryssa flashed her a quick grin in return. “Shouldn’t be too hard…” She finished her Guinness. “How about now?”
Allie smiled. “No time like the present…”
“So, about this ‘Alisande’ situation…”
The two girls left Imran’s prone body by the bar, and passed the 21st century mirror, which Francois had installed behind it.
No one was looking when it rippled.
And Q’s face appeared.
He looked at the ’Round.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Everything back to (ab)normal.
Just the place where a trickster god could be himself.
Q laughed silently. What else could possibly happen?
He knew…
The End (maybe)