Maybe Some Other Time (addendum)
Otherside
Earlier this year
“Ayna—”
#NO! NO, ELLIA!# The little Siren gathers herself. #You can go to Hades!#
“Ayna, we can talk about this. We can talk.”
#No,# Ayna hums quietly, threateningly. #No. I’ve had enough of this! You don’t want me! You’ve never wanted me! All you’ve needed me for, all you’ve ever needed me for, were your silly, stupid little games! No!#
“Ayna, you know that’s not true!” Ellia protests.
#No?# Ayna retorts. #You’ve hated me ever since the day I was born. Ever since. None of you wanted me! All you wanted was another pawn for your games! Mum and Dad didn’t want children—they wanted tools! Something they could use! Do you think the Queen Bitch would even have let us live if we weren’t useful?#
“Ayna—” Ellia begins.
#No.# Ayna’s voice is cold. #No, Ellia. You’re gonna listen for once. You know it’s true. It’s always been true. Why do you think they had you? Believe me, it wasn’t ‘cause they were feeling broody!#
“Do you think Mum would be happy, hearing you say that?” Ellia says, her voice edged in ice.
#I don’t care. I don’t care! She didn’t love us, none of you did! Dad doesn’t love us, you don’t love us, and as for Andie… if that’s love, I’d rather be thrown to the Furies!# The words are out of Ayna’s mouth almost before she knows what she’s saying.
Ellia gasps, actually gasps. “AYNA!”
#You know it’s true.# Ayna’s voice is quieter now. There is no way back, not after that. #Once Andie gets her claws into you, she never lets go. Not ever. She clings and clings and never lets go. That’s the way she is.# She lifts her head. #None of you care. None of you. You say it like it means something, but all it is is another move in your Hades-damned games!#
“You ungrateful little brat!” Ellia snaps.
Anya lets out a short, sharp sting. #And what’ve I got to be grateful for? Huh? Tell me. What should I be grateful for?#
Ellia leans in to her. “Who put a roof over your head? Who makes sure you’re fed and sheltered and taken care of? Who’s the one who had to haul your sorry little behind out of all the fights? Who’s looked after you all of her life without even asking the slightest thing in return?”
#Like you’re not the worst of all.# Ayna sneers. #All you have to do is have me walk by, and everyone else falls back into place. You don’t even have to say anything. You don’t need to. Not like they could miss it. You don’t need to ask anything in return. Simply having me around is all you need.#
“You think you’re that important to me?” Ellia retorts. “You think anyone else would treat you as well as we do?”
Ayna stands her ground. #Yes. Yes, I—#
She stops.
Something tickles at the back of her mind.
“Why don’t we try it?” Ellia continues. “Why don’t we see how long you could last on your own? Believe me, we don’t need you—”
The tug grows stronger.
Ayna feels it, feels the call on her—
She whirls, and hurries out of the Round.
“Where are you going, you little freak?!” Ellia demands, hurrying after her. “Come back here!”
Ayna stops in the car park, turns to face her sister, tears burning down her face. #Why don’t we try it? Why not? Anywhere’s got to be better than here.#
She lets the tug take hold of her, feels it pulling her to the hill—
She opens herself to it, lets it take hold—
And she’s gone, she doesn’t know where.
Ellia watches her as she takes off for the hill.
“You’ll be back,” she mutters. “You’ll be back.”
But her voice rings empty in her ears.